Hey there, friend!


Today, I want to dive into a topic that’s been on my mind for a while: why it sometimes feels like black women don’t support each other as much as we should. It’s a complex issue, rooted in historical, societal, and personal factors. So, grab a cup of tea, get cozy, and let’s have an open and informative chat about it.

1. The Legacy of Slavery:

It’s impossible to discuss this topic without acknowledging the legacy of slavery. For centuries, black women were pitted against each other by a system that treated them as property. This deep-seated division has left its mark, and it’s essential to recognize it as a starting point for understanding why unity might sometimes be a challenge.

2. Men and Media Influence:

Media, both traditional and social, often perpetuate harmful stereotypes and standards of beauty that can make us feel like we’re in competition. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and jealousy, fostering an environment where support takes a back seat.

3. People Can Be Self-Absorbed:

Let’s face it; everyone has their own battles and insecurities. Sometimes, we get so wrapped up in our own lives that we forget to support those around us. This isn’t unique to black women, but it can contribute to the perception that we’re not there for each other.

4. Jealousy and Competition:

Jealousy can be an ugly beast, and competition isn’t always healthy. When we see someone else succeeding, it can trigger negative emotions. Instead of celebrating their accomplishments, we might find ourselves comparing and competing.

5. Being the Token:

In some spaces, it feels like there’s only room for one black woman at the top. This “tokenism” can make us view each other as threats rather than allies, as if there’s a limited amount of success to go around.

So, What Can We Do About It?

The good news is that we have the power to change this narrative and build a strong sisterhood. Here are some simple steps we can take:


1. Supporting Someone Never Hurts:

Remember that supporting someone else’s success doesn’t diminish your own. Lift each other up, celebrate achievements, and offer a helping hand when needed. Your support can mean the world to someone.

2. Compliment Someone – It Never Costs a Thing:

A kind word or compliment can go a long way in boosting someone’s confidence and fostering a supportive atmosphere. Find something nice to say, and watch how it brightens both your day and theirs.

3. Be Yourself:

Don’t feel pressured to conform to stereotypes or compete with others. Embrace your uniqueness and encourage others to do the same. We’re all on our own journeys, and that’s something to celebrate.

4. Don’t Be Too Hung Up on Others’ Success:

Remember, someone else’s success doesn’t take away from your own potential. Focus on your goals and personal growth rather than constantly comparing yourself to others.

5. “Comparison Is the Thief of Joy”:

Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Embrace your journey, and don’t measure your worth by someone else’s standards. We all have our own paths and timelines, and that’s perfectly okay.

In conclusion, my dear friend, it’s essential to recognize the factors that have historically divided us and work together to build a strong and supportive sisterhood. When we lift each other up, we break down barriers and create a more inclusive and loving community.

Let’s celebrate each other’s successes, offer a helping hand, and remember that there’s enough room at the top for all of us. Together, we can shatter the notion that black women don’t support each other and create a more empowering and loving future.

Here’s to building a sisterhood that’s unbreakable!